Case IV:
"Beauty, Fashion, Gentility, and The Perfect Gentleman: An Etiquette Sampler for Adults, 1838-1932."
Etchings, included in An American Gentlemen's Guide to Politeness and Fashion, and The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility, respectively.
Some etiquette books provided visual references and anecdotal examples for proper behavior. Margaret C. Conkling, daughter of prominent New York Congressman and Senator Alfred Conkling, published An American Gentleman's Guide to Politeness and Fashion, under the pseudonym "Henry Lunettes." Her book used both imagery and anecdotes to illustrate the traits she thought essential to the behavior of gentlemen, invoking Count Alfred d'Orsay as the pinnacle of refinement. Alfred d'Orsay, whose portrait frontispiece faces the title page, was a French dandy. He was known throughout the Western world for his exceptional style and good looks, as well as his high society connections, which included Lord Byron and Napoleon III. The New Yorker, which sought to revolutionize humor magazines by writing with sophistication and wit, designed their monocled mascot, Eustace Tilley, around d'Orsay's image.
The engraved image of Gentility from Emily Thornwell's The Lady's Guide to Perfect Gentility (1856) differs from d'Orsay in that she is purely fictional. The etching is very telling of the expectations that women were held to in the mid 19th century, when the book was published. Identified by an adjective rather than by a name, dressed well but plainly, and appearing peaceful and demure, she is a reflection of the perfect docile woman.
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Manners for the Metropolis: An Entrance Key to the Fantastic Life of the 400 (1908) by Francis Welch Crowninshield, illustrated by Louis Fancher. "...During the past decade, both in America and in England, sudden and violent changes have somewhat ruffled the placid waters of polite society. These new conditions of life have naturally necessitated new methods of social procedure. The telephone, coeducation, wireless telegraphy, motor cars, millionaires, bridge whist, women's rights, Sherry's, cocktails, four-day liners, pianolas, steam heat, directoire gowns, dirigible balloons, and talking machines have all contributed to an astonishing social metamorphosis. Curiously enough no book of etiquette has taken count of these violent changes... It is, therefore, with motives of generosity, charity, and kindness that this little guide has been prepared by the benevolent author." |
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"WHEN you spend Sunday in the country, the proper schedule of tips for the servants is as follows: Chauffeur $10.00; Butler 10.00; Coachman 5.00; Footman 3.00; Valet 5.00; Cook nothing; Maid 2.00; Chambermaid 2.00; Strapper 1.00; Groom 2.00; Total $40.00... (If you are from Pittsburg, care should be taken to double the above table of tips.)" "In certain country houses the architect has neglected to supply bathrooms for each of the guests. In some extreme cases as many as three bachelors are expected to share one bath. This is bad. The best way to maneuver under such circumstances is to send your servant early to the bathroom and let him lock himself in. This will foil the invaders." "At a house party every lady of prominence Is sure to bring at least one Pomeranian dog...A smart week-end on the Hudson will usually average about six thousand dollars worth of Poms." |
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"Whenever, at a dinner, an anecdote is narrated in French, it is always a wise precaution to laugh heartily." "A DINNER IS a miscellaneous collection of appropriately dressed men and women, who are not in the least hungry and who are invited by the host and hostess to repay certain social obligations for value received or expected." "The author of this brochure respectfully suggests the following scheme of American dinner precedence: Let an opera box count 6 points; steam yacht, 5; town house, 5; country house, 4; motors, 3 each; every million dollars, 2 ; tiara, 1 ; good wine cellar, 1 ; ball- room in town house, 1 ; a known grandparent of either sex, 1; culture, 1/8. By this system, a Woman of culture with four known grand- parents and a million dollars will have a total of 4 and 1/8. She will, of course, be forced to follow in the wake of a lady with a town house and a tiara (6)..." |
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"People who arrive late at a large dinner sometimes have very quaint and amusing excuses: "At a dance, when a lady is talking to a millionaire recently arrived from the West, he may offer to introduce his wife... In such a fix it is permissible for her to burst into a loud fit of coughing, mention her weak heart, and ask a footman to call her carriage." "In saying good night to the hostess... [bestow] the same degree of warmth or formality that her bearing invites. If, for instance, she be asleep in the conservatory... [do not] shake her or rouse her by shouting: "Hi! Wake up, I want to go home," etc." |
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"[Bridge] is a popular pastime, and much of the attention of our best minds in high society is concentrated upon guessing whether a given card is in the hand of the person on the right or on the left." "...the Smart Set have ceased occupying their brains with literature, music, politics, and art subjects which were, a long time ago, discussed in our best society[,] their entire mental activities are now focused upon the game of bridge." "It is customary, too, to hold the cards in one hand and a hot buttered muffin in the other." "Peas are eaten with the aid of a fork. The hair-raising spectacle of a gentleman flicking peas into his mouth with a steel knife is no longer fashionable, however dexterously the feat may be performed." "A Bachelor should supply the telephone girl at his office with a list of ladies to whom he is always 'out.'" |
The cover of The Woman's World Book of Etiquette, was published in 1929. This mail-order Chicago periodical entered publication in 1884 and was highly regarded for its illustrative art style.
As many rules governed behavioral expectations for children, they were tenfold for adults. A number of authors provided guides to help the average adult navigate their way through society, and these works were popular into the mid-20th century. Many of these publications catered to elites, and topics included what to wear when riding or on vacation in Europe, how to throw a dance ball, what to furnish one's summer home with, and how to speak kindly to servants. Working Americans often lacked the leisure time to read or the money to purchase books, and public libraries were uncommon until Andrew Carnegie began making large-scale donations to fund their establishment in 1903.
Writers and their publishers continued to print works of etiquette for a select audience into the 20th century, and they generally disregarded the fact that a suit or dress for every occasion was often unattainable for the average American, as was unlimited leisure time, and the many luxuries of city living. After World War II however, significant social and technological changes created a large middle class, and writers and publishers of etiquette books responded to these dramatic changes in modern society.
Manners for Women by Mrs. Mary Augusta Ward (pseud. Mrs. Humphry)
A Hand-Book of Etiquette for Gentlemen by "An American Gentleman"
Sub-Deb's Book of Beauty by Elizabeth Woodward
Etiquette, or a Guide to the Usages of Society with a Glance at Bad Habits by Charles William Day
Young Enough to Know Better by Fairfax Downey
Manners for Men by Mrs. Mary Augusta Ward (pseud. Mrs. Humphry)
How to be Popular by Elizabeth Woodward
Our Behavior: A Manual of Etiquette and Dress of the Best American Society by Eliza Bisbee Duffey
